3 simple steps (x 10)

Have you ever watched Oso or Tasty Time with ZeFrank? You know, follow these THREE simple steps and you can...learn to tie your shoe, fix a broken toy, cook lunch, etc.

I always chuckle to myself. They always make the tasks so easy on t.v. Especially one last week...ZeFrank was giving THREE simple steps to make pizza. 1. Spread the sauce. 2. Put on the toppings. 3. Bake it in the oven. Then he did a little song at the end...spread and top and bake, yeah...spread and top and bake.

Ok--if you have seen these shows you know what I am talking about--if you haven't, consider yourself lucky.

I got to thinking about these THREE easy steps. I think ZeFrank got it ALL wrong. Here are the real steps to making a pizza.

1. Kids want to make a pizza. You realize you don't have any of the ingredients, so you must go to the store.

2. Get everyone dressed and in the car.

3. Go to store. While you are getting the two or three items you need for the pizza, you realize you need some other things.

4. Answer a couple of phone calls at the store and respond to some texts.

5. "Other things"ends up being $100.00 worth of groceries.

6. A child needs to poop, so you stop by the dirty bathroom.

7. Load car.

8. Realize the fuel light is on. Get gas.

9. Head home.

10. Unload kids and groceries.

11. Kids see groceries and they are hungry. Make kids a snack.

12. Now, they are thirsty.

13. Gather everyone in the kitchen to make pizzas.

14. Give each child their own dough--cause you don't want to listen to arguing.

15. Children spread sauce on pizza. Sauce is everywhere. Darn it--why didn't I put you in clothes that were already stained.

16. Take off kids clothes (a little late, but at least maybe they aren't TOO ruined).

17. Start a load of laundry.

18. Let kids put toppings on the pizza.

19. Let them eat a little and drop some on the floor.

20. Put pizzas in oven.

21. Try to entertain kids while pizzas cook.

22. Start cleaning up the mess.

23. Load the dishwasher.

24. Take pizzas out of the oven.

25. Gather children at the table to eat their creations.

26. Kids take one or two bites and they are full.

27. Tell kids to just go play.

28. Eat the pizza yourself.

29. Finish cleaning the kitchen.

30. Shake your fist at ZeFrank for making it look so easy on t.v.

Put that in a little jingle, ZeFrank.

You know I'm right on this one:)